THE CHAIR

From the highest to the lowest,

The office holder to the person on the street,

From the king to the priest,

The young and the old,

Man and woman,

Including the pet

They all come to me to sit.

When I think for a moment

I am the luckiest thing ever made.

You find me everywhere.

On coronation day,

The most visible things are the emperor and I.

There are also occasions in reverse

When I am seen sitting on a head of a walking person -

For example, the day of Epiphany.

The amount of money people spend

To dry clean their suits and dresses

Only to put it at my disposal to clean up my face.

Oh, yes, I am the luckiest thing ever made

All the most expensive garments,

Silk, wool, linen you name it,

Think of the expenses to dry-clean it

After picking up my dirt.

To assure themselves that the job is all done,

That no speck of dirt is left behind,

In their scrapping habits they use their whole weight.

However, for the stain on there garment

The skin gets blamed so also the rear end ligaments.

I stayed at home all time

This way I save myself from being worn out

My sole from walking gets not dry

My hair due to excessive exposure turns not grey

Nor do I have to worry being cold

Gas, heating and the rest

It is taken care of and regularly paid

That is one thing,

And the other:

I am allowed to see every aspect

Even parts that are designated private.

I see!

And listen to all forms of conversations

From politics to gossips,

Conspiracy and plots

And the most closely guarded words of intimate.

People trust me with their most treasured assets

They tenaciously protect,

From being burgled

Or violated,

Touched or fondled

Except by those with the licence to do it.

They leave it with me

I can do what I like,

I can make it flat,

If I feel wanting a football field

To run around.

I can cave in,

So that stays round like a bawl

If I feel like sliding down.

It depend on my mood

Whether I remain rowdy or softly cool.

However there are downsides to being a chair

People can constantly fart,

Loud or quiet

All the same, the air gets polluted,

And I get suffocated.

Although I do not mind being seated on,

That I am destined and nothing can be done.

Copyright Haileselassie Girmay

July 1993